Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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