i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
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My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
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Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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