Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
