i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i need to put some appletini on your dick
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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