i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
