I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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