Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
