he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
