The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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