Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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