where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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