We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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