Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
