Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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