whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
