take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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