Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
