Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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