To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Apparently you make a good broom.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
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I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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