it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
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hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
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He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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