I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
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