dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
