now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize