This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
