She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
