this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
