I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
