shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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