Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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