You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
