I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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