Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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