A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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