I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
