you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
