Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I will die if light touches me.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
