Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
