how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
