Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
