I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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