I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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