Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
