i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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