Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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