I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
