I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize