Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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