Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
