I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
