That's intense
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
