Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
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