i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Randomize
