Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize