i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
