yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
