i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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