I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
