Jerry, you need to find god
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
