So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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