I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
