i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize